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Posted by / 17-Apr-2016 19:57

I’ve had a lot of men come into my life as father figures, I’ve fallen in love with them, and then they’re just gone. I need to spend time with Des and I need to talk to her because I don’t want to lose her. I just don’t want anyone to leave me anymore.” Smother Level: Pepé Le Pew 2. And you’re telling me he did all this while performing non-court-ordered volunteer work (-25 points) and using the phrase “Dem bitches all thirsty and junk” without me hating him for it? Any man that knows 27 different ways to do crunches is not going to punch you in the face unless it is part of his Cross Fit routine. For his date with Des, Kasey The Hashtag Guy had to wear spandex capris and perform glorified ballet while dangling off the side of an office building in the middle of downtown L. I can’t decide if it was less fun to watch or to participate in. As if that weren’t enough, later that night, a hurricane not named Nia rolled in, and they spent the rest of the date talking about the wind while planters tipped over and plates broke around them. Hey, ABC, how about you put some of that rappelling-off-huge-buildings budget toward getting bands people actually know? He seems normal and realistic about this whole experience, which probably means he’s a serial killer.

“To be honest, I am falling in love with you, and we barely talk as it is. Jacoby, why do they keep doing this band performance thing?

I was grappling with my thoughts on this whole thing (i.e., Googling them) when I stumbled across this gem from ABC’s most-hated blogger, Reality Steve, who claims that not only did Stephanie date another former this week.

After crying because he could relate to Brian’s Crazy GBH (20 points and first red flag) and how his mother’s boyfriends used to abandon him, he then decided to tell Desiree that he was falling in love with her even though he admits that they never really talk (20 points and second red flag).

Desiree drives down to the Bachelor Mansion and pulls Brian outside to have a conversation about his GBH.

Instead of just dropping the bomb immediately, though, Des does her best Chris Hansen impression, probing Brian with questions like “I want to know if your conversations are sincere” and saying that she just wants to make sure people are there for the right reasons before giving them a one-on-one date. Because she is actually here.” With that, Stephanie strolls in, hair and makeup professionally done, wearing leather pants and her best “I’m on my way to sell real estate” blazer.

Were those select members of the National Dodgeball League or was that the whole league? Where’d I put that free burrito coupon I got last week? After getting some instruction, the bachelors were split into red and blue teams to play for extra time with Des. Well, this happened: “Yesterday I wanted to kill him. One episode I just want the Bachelor to say, “You know what?

Unsurprisingly, Desiree sends him packing, capping off his epic performance in the GRTFL.

In fact, it was so epic that this week’s GRTFL Top Five is the Top Five Craziest Quotes From Brandon on 5.

After being whisked off to the hospital, the fallen teammate described his experience: I just broke my finger playing dodgeball. Ben (, Jacoby), 15 points: Caitlin: The rest of the bros don’t like Ben, a.k.a. You see, Desiree decided to forgo a cocktail party that night in exchange for a pool party so she could rank the guys in order by number of visible abs …

They had to realign it, and in doing so, I passed out. I mean, so she could get to know them more in a relaxed setting.

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It’s really hard, but I think about you all day long, and I’ll tell you a secret. Let it go,’ and I smelled God in him.” After converting Dom, Marlon turns his attention toward Nia and expresses his disappointment in her, causing Nia to cry (yes, Hurricane Nia can feel) and apologize to Jordan for everything. Jacoby: There is NOTHING worse than these performances.

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