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But talking with other women who stutter has given me a model for speaking that doesn't necessarily involve a smooth, spontaneous voice.
Their beautiful voices, along with people like Lorelai Gilmore, who could talk to anyone, were my models for many years—once I could speak like them, after enough speech therapy or whatever it took, I would go out into the world and talk my way into any situation I wanted.
The way that women talk is obviously subject to some scrutiny—take the recent essays about vocal fry and uptalk—and having a speech-language disability adds another layer of critique to that.
Growing up with a mother whose speech was what her friend described as "immaculate," I understood that women should be pleasing in conversation.
I argue that it's probably because of my stutter, but he's not convinced.
"I really do think you're holding something back," he says.
You can also decrease your stuttering since you don’t end up speaking a lot. If the reason for your stuttering is your great fear, then it’s high time to learn how to control it.